My Haremu

I know I said I’d be taking a break but my OCD is killing me after having missed two post dates, so here is a post I wrote a few weeks ago for just such an occasion.

A few other anime bloggers have been talking about their anime harems. Hell, the whole /a/ trend of claiming your waifu (wife) is growing out of control. Not content to settle with just one waifu, I have written down who would be in my haremu. This is a working list, subject to grow and gives an approximation for my tastes in men (and sometimes women).

Kurogane

kurogane

C’mon, look at him! Look at how manly he is! Kurogane is a ninja from Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle who was punished by his queen for being a ninja and doing his job. I don’t get it either. Apparently you’re supposed to let the attacking enemy go because we all follow Naruto ninja standards. He was cursed and sent away to learn respect for human life.

Truly a rarity for CLAMP, Kurogane is a man among men and has a strictly anti-pedophilic stance. He is a strong father figure and despite the constant advances of the token gay character, reacts more in annoyance than violence. The only downside? He is comically victimized by Mokona.

Mokona is not allowed in my haremu.

Guts

fuck yea guts

Do I even need to say it? Just looking at him makes me feel manly. He cut a man in half in the first volume of his manga! He was born spawned found (caused?) under a tree of corpses! Everything about him stinks of death and destruction and badassery! God damn, I just wet my panties.

It goes without saying that Guts is quite possibly the manliest man to ever be a man. Son, I am appoint.

Sebastian

Sebastian

Despite gay tendencies and something of a shota-complex, I love Sebastian. He is a demon that despises humans and begrudgingly serves one (unless that human orders him to slaughter people). An excellent cook, gentlemen, landscaper, etc, Sebastian can fit any role you need him to and can also slaughter an entire room of fully armed men using only butter knives.

ILU

ILU

Yuuko

boobies...

Yuuko can come into my haremu as long as she leaves those stupid twins behind. Her boobs are amazing and she has some pretty cool adventures. We’d get drunk and travel across dimensions fighting ghosts and having lesbian sex. No Watanuki allowed. If I even think I hear your whining, I’ll kill you.

Gene

wow this is 90's

Gene Starwind, my original man-crush. Back when I was young I liked young animu boys, Syaoran being my first (I was ten, he was ten, things go as they may, you know?) But Gene was a real man, with a great sense of humor, a kick ass ship and manly scars. Gene introduced me to the world of manly men, and I haven’t turned back since.

Kamina

Who the hell do you think I am

No further description needed. I just CAME.

Chun-Li

mai waifu

My Waifu and first lesbian crush. I would sell my soul just to have her kick my ass and then giggle about it. In fact, I would be satisfied to just watch her make out with Cammy.

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~ by sniffits on October 26, 2009.

10 Responses to “My Haremu”

  1. You went from Kurogane to Guts to Sebastian. Talk about GAR dissonance. Although I guess Sebastian is pretty manly in his own right, all things considered…

  2. Given your previous post about guro, somehow these choices aren’t so surprising. At least it’s clear you like some very strong people.

    But really, I’m just thrilled by the idea that you’ve planned emergency entries. That’s lovely. I should do that.

    • ahahahahahaaaa, yea…I kind of have a morbid fascination with violence and strong men. I do like skinnier guys in real life (with strong personalities) if only because real physically strong guys tend to me egotistical (guidos). The strong personality is something I feed off of–that and a good dose of cynicism.

      It’s always good to have a back up in case life slaps you.

  3. Wow so flatterd i’m up there! Hahah anyway, wonderful character choices! Even though it went from kurogane to guts the ~Sebastion~. Lol i wont lie he is pretty awesome. And kamina…(shakes head) How can we miss that man? Your my hero sniffits…your my hero.

    • I need Sebastian in my harem to cook for me. All the others wouldn’t do it, I’m sure. Of course, Yuuko’s up there! She has amazing boobies. Well, there are more reasons than that, but the boobs help

      Your hero? Oh god, someone save the children >.<

  4. This is a most impressive and non-pedophilic harem. I approve heartily.

    • To be perfectly honest, if I might spill my guts to you, I am fucking sick of pedophilia on the anime fandom. I am tired of girly boys and traps and moe blobs being held in such a high regard as if they are carved from the wood of the true cross. I am tired of seeing an artist I like and then finding that all they draw is underage boys (or girls as the case may be) taking it up the ass. Also, while I have nothing against submissive men IRL, I am sick and tired of pussies that whine about everything.

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