An unbiased review of Assassin’s Creed

I guess it’s not really fair for me to be reviewing this game, since (a) it’s been out for a while, (b) I haven’t technically beat it and (c) I have no reviewing authority myself.  Still, I think a review is poignant, due to the recent announcment of Assassin’s Creed 2.  Here, I will attempt to discuss what needs to be improved to make the game better for the next time around.


Assassin’s Creed is ambitious.  After wandering in the cities for a while I realized just how much work went into creating this game.  The game no longer has you searching for climbable surfaces like other games.  There’s no “where are the claw marks” or “Oh, look, a pole.”  Altair can climb almost any surface in a way that must have taken lot’s of TLC to create the animations for. Unlike in other free roaming games, this one actually feels free and open.

On top of that, the assassinations are thrilling with a real sense of urgency as you slowly stalk your prey.  It’s like Manhunt only somehow more badass.

This man is about to meet sweet death and he doesnt even know it.  Id feel bad if I werent have so much fun.

This man is about to meet sweet death and he doesn't even know it. I'd feel bad if I weren't have so much fun.



Still, it’s not without a plethora of problems.  In fact, one could say that because the game succeeds so well in some areas, it’s faults become more visible.  The game is beautiful, hence why when graphical glitches occur their more noticeable.  Altair also like to clip through things.

Clipping isn’t the only thing stopping this assassin. There are occasional glitches, but the real bullet in this bad boy is the combat. Oh sure, I could whine about the unskipable cutscenes, the long treks through boring areas and the fact that you perform the same missions over and over again until your eyes rip themselves from your head and kick you in the nuts, but I’m going to whine about the real killer of this game.

Now, I didn’t think much of the combat in the beginning because, for the most part, I didn’t fight anyone. It wasn’t until the end, when I was facing hordes of enemies and a sticky combat system, that I realized we had a problem.

Shit, shit, shit, shit!

Shit, shit, shit, shit!



It’s not so bad when I can run, but the ending chapters require you to fight. Prepare to be bored, very fast.

It doesn’t help that you have to spend much of the battle recovering health by running around like a little girl because the block and counter commands to always want to respond and enemy number 40 is kicking you to the curb. After that, you have to face the final boss after beating yet another horde (joy) and then take him on without any health.


Fuck you.


I am not that curious about the end of the game that I have to run around a garden hoping one wayward sword slash doesn’t land on me while I pray that Altair listens and does a counter god-damn kill…several times…until the boss finally bites it…hopefully.

Assassin’s Creed is a lot like Metal Gear Solid. It doesn’t seem to know what makes it fun and thus tries to do a lot of things all at once. So, what’s the point of this post then?

How to fix it for Assassin’s Creed 2.

Combat: Make it less broken. First, understand that Altair is an assassin. He should not be a tank who can barely fight. Lower his health bar, make him more vulnerable to attacks, but also power up his dodge and strike abilities. Also, make sure they work! Don’t amp up the AI and then keep the fighting back broken. Basically, make Altair like…you know…a real assassin. :O

Enemy AI: Make them smarter and get rid of some of the stupid ways they find you. I love how I can shank a guard right next to another and as long as I’m ‘blending’ they’ll never find me. But, when I’m out in the country side, if I so much as trot they all instantly know I’m an assassin and label me for death.

Running.  Its how the cops notice you.

Running. It's how the cops notice you.


There are a lot of little things too, like the fact that the alert status beeping made me want to choke something or how monotonous the game got to be after only a few hours, but I’m going to leave it at that. Fix these things, please, and this time, be sure to figure out what make Assassin’s Creed fun. Then make that the whole game.

– Sniffits

~ by sniffits on June 7, 2009.

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